Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Jukebox Hero
Good morning blogoneers, I hope that wherever you are you have excellent central air and/or one of those mind-freak Dyson fans without the blades. It's hot, y'all, this is generally what I'm getting at.
Anyway, one of the 10 billion blogs I frequent had a fun post today about personal talents that are not incredibly impressive and generally do not have any significant value. The blogger's talent was ironing, and after thinking about it for a little bit I'm pretty sure mine are spotting animals like a bandit and having a ridiculous memory for song lyrics. Again, neither of those things will get me anywhere in life. Nobody wants to put me up on stage and watch me do those things. My life is not made easier because of them. Never the less, I am pretty awesome at them and now I'm going to regale you with tales of how cool I am.
I'm pretty sure my ability to spot any and all animals within my field of vision started when I was a kid and we went on class field trips to the zoo. Kids have a knack for turning pretty much anything into a competition, and it wasn't long in our lives before we started seeing the zoo as the ultimate I-Spy challenge. I mean, think about it; you go to the zoo as an adult and you stand there and appreciate the majesty of...I don't know, the Okapi, for 5-10 minutes and then you amble on to the Impalas. Hooray for safari hoofstock, majesty of Africa, blah blah blah. Kids, however, will travel in herds and stampede from one exhibit to the next, "LION. THERE. BY THE ROCK. DONE." followed by one of them sprinting off to the Rhinos while the slow kids desperately try to find it, knowing full well that they can't move on until they do.
Guys, I was a rock star at that game. I can find a Clouded Leopard in 10 seconds flat even if he's curled up on the high perch and only the tip of his whiskers are showing. The Reptile house? Forget that business, I'm in and out in 5 minutes while everyone else is still trying to distinguish the Eyelash Viper from the foliage. I can spot Caterpillars crossing the street for Christ's sake! I've made Anu pull the car over at night because I saw a toad trying to hop up on the sidewalk from the street and I wanted to help him! It's crazy and someone somewhere owes me a medal.
My other amazingly useless talent is a mind like a steel trap when it comes to song lyrics. Can I sing? Absolutely not, but you're sweet for asking. Nope, I know every word to just about every song I've ever heard, and I know all of the inflections and pauses and peculiar breathing noises as well. I don't remember the riffs and solos so much, this is a constant source of frustration for Anu and I when we try to do humdingers during Cranium. He'll be singing the Free Bird solo and I'll be staring at him blankly, then once we lose he shows me the card and from there out it's all,
"WHY WOULD YOU SING IT THAT WAY? LISTEN: IF I LEEEEAVE HERE TOMOOOOOORROOOOOOWWWWW...."
"BECAUSE IT'S FREE BIRD! FREE BIRD! EVERYBODY WHO EVER LIVED KNOWS THE SOLO IN FREE BIRD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAUGH!"
*punching fight*
Just kidding, no domestic violence. But it is insanely frustrating. I don't think he even remembers that songs HAVE lyrics. Seriously, if you ask him to sing a song the words he will use are "boop, dadadada, buuuum buuum buuuuuum, bernerner" and the like and all you will get out of it is how the guitar part goes.
The good news for me is that piano bars exist. I went to a dueling piano bar in Fort Worth with Flanagan on Friday night and it was so much fun that I almost died. I could sing every song at the top of my lungs and nobody could hear how out of tune I was. I knew every song! I was so proud! It was a good night for me, guys.
I'm going to end this entry the same way that the prompting blog did: what are your obscure and pointless talents? Are you the DDR Champion? Can nobody peel a cucumber quite like you? Do tell. We can start the most pointless act in the world together and call it Cirque de So-lame. It will be fun.
Love and Kisses,
Daner
Anyway, one of the 10 billion blogs I frequent had a fun post today about personal talents that are not incredibly impressive and generally do not have any significant value. The blogger's talent was ironing, and after thinking about it for a little bit I'm pretty sure mine are spotting animals like a bandit and having a ridiculous memory for song lyrics. Again, neither of those things will get me anywhere in life. Nobody wants to put me up on stage and watch me do those things. My life is not made easier because of them. Never the less, I am pretty awesome at them and now I'm going to regale you with tales of how cool I am.
I'm pretty sure my ability to spot any and all animals within my field of vision started when I was a kid and we went on class field trips to the zoo. Kids have a knack for turning pretty much anything into a competition, and it wasn't long in our lives before we started seeing the zoo as the ultimate I-Spy challenge. I mean, think about it; you go to the zoo as an adult and you stand there and appreciate the majesty of...I don't know, the Okapi, for 5-10 minutes and then you amble on to the Impalas. Hooray for safari hoofstock, majesty of Africa, blah blah blah. Kids, however, will travel in herds and stampede from one exhibit to the next, "LION. THERE. BY THE ROCK. DONE." followed by one of them sprinting off to the Rhinos while the slow kids desperately try to find it, knowing full well that they can't move on until they do.
Guys, I was a rock star at that game. I can find a Clouded Leopard in 10 seconds flat even if he's curled up on the high perch and only the tip of his whiskers are showing. The Reptile house? Forget that business, I'm in and out in 5 minutes while everyone else is still trying to distinguish the Eyelash Viper from the foliage. I can spot Caterpillars crossing the street for Christ's sake! I've made Anu pull the car over at night because I saw a toad trying to hop up on the sidewalk from the street and I wanted to help him! It's crazy and someone somewhere owes me a medal.
My other amazingly useless talent is a mind like a steel trap when it comes to song lyrics. Can I sing? Absolutely not, but you're sweet for asking. Nope, I know every word to just about every song I've ever heard, and I know all of the inflections and pauses and peculiar breathing noises as well. I don't remember the riffs and solos so much, this is a constant source of frustration for Anu and I when we try to do humdingers during Cranium. He'll be singing the Free Bird solo and I'll be staring at him blankly, then once we lose he shows me the card and from there out it's all,
"WHY WOULD YOU SING IT THAT WAY? LISTEN: IF I LEEEEAVE HERE TOMOOOOOORROOOOOOWWWWW...."
"BECAUSE IT'S FREE BIRD! FREE BIRD! EVERYBODY WHO EVER LIVED KNOWS THE SOLO IN FREE BIRD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAUGH!"
*punching fight*
Just kidding, no domestic violence. But it is insanely frustrating. I don't think he even remembers that songs HAVE lyrics. Seriously, if you ask him to sing a song the words he will use are "boop, dadadada, buuuum buuum buuuuuum, bernerner" and the like and all you will get out of it is how the guitar part goes.
The good news for me is that piano bars exist. I went to a dueling piano bar in Fort Worth with Flanagan on Friday night and it was so much fun that I almost died. I could sing every song at the top of my lungs and nobody could hear how out of tune I was. I knew every song! I was so proud! It was a good night for me, guys.
I'm going to end this entry the same way that the prompting blog did: what are your obscure and pointless talents? Are you the DDR Champion? Can nobody peel a cucumber quite like you? Do tell. We can start the most pointless act in the world together and call it Cirque de So-lame. It will be fun.
Love and Kisses,
Daner
Thursday, August 5, 2010
I am absolutely awful
Worst. Blogger. Ever.
You all are so cool for still being followers. I want to give you a hug, but all I have right now are internet arms which I know are not nearly good enough. Still:
(>")>
See? It's a little Kirby guy and he's totally going in for a hug. Geared toward you, sexy reader. I hope that helped ease the pain.
To be completely honest, I don't even really have a set topic for this entry. Mostly I just felt bad because it's been almost 2 months since my last post and that's just not how you convince people that you're interesting and cool. "Haha, look how silent and non updated her blog is! I'm gonna recommend her to everybody!!! :D :D :D"
In my defense, though, during the week I am 100% bored and unmotivated to do anything but obsessively surf the internet, pausing here and there to play Viva Pinata on the xbox Anu got. The good news is that I can pretty much tell you everything about every celebrity scandal ever and I'm really good at Pinata farming. The bad news is that I have jack crap to write about when I finally do get guilty enough to feel like I really should make a post. I guess I could write about my Pinatas but there's only so much to be said about my frustration with Pretztails eating my Bunnycombs.
(For real though, they're not even that cute and the bunnies are adorable. I hate them so much. One time I spent a lot of money on a hat for my Bunny and then this ass face just flounced in and ate him while I was busy watering a tree. I know, I know, I could just keep two of them in my garden and be done with it, but they start fights like there's no tomorrow. And they're NOT THAT CUTE! Grrr...)
I'm going up to Lewisville next week for job training, so I suppose that's pretty exciting. I really wish it was time for the school year to start, I'm going to be the most ridiculously awesome high school TA ever. Those kids are going to learn so much science that they won't even know what to do with themselves. Also, my principal kind of hinted at the fact that I might be able to develop some outdoorsy programs for them. We're going kayaking, kiddos!
Anu and I have been working out (like Responsible Adults) regularly lately and we've decided that we're going to do Warrior Dash in November. I am so pumped. It looks like pretty much the most fun 5k in the world. If you're in Austin, you should totally do it with us because it's going to be insane. Like, crazy person in a mental institution insane.
(That wasn't a dig at those with mental illness, I've just been dying over these "Real Moment with Rachel Zoe" parody videos. Here, watch it:
So there you go.)
But yeah, back to Warrior Dash. Here's the website if you want to go:
http://warriordash.com/register2010_central_texas.php
I'm sorry this post is all over the place. I hope it's at least somewhat entertaining.
Also, Eric is going away to med school on a magical island and that makes us all very sad. We threw him a surprise party that was doctor themed, and I think it was a big hit. I won't post any saucy pictures for fear of med school/ bosses/ students finding them and deciding that we're all bad people, but here are some fairly innocent ones so you can get the gist of it:
You all are so cool for still being followers. I want to give you a hug, but all I have right now are internet arms which I know are not nearly good enough. Still:
(>")>
See? It's a little Kirby guy and he's totally going in for a hug. Geared toward you, sexy reader. I hope that helped ease the pain.
To be completely honest, I don't even really have a set topic for this entry. Mostly I just felt bad because it's been almost 2 months since my last post and that's just not how you convince people that you're interesting and cool. "Haha, look how silent and non updated her blog is! I'm gonna recommend her to everybody!!! :D :D :D"
In my defense, though, during the week I am 100% bored and unmotivated to do anything but obsessively surf the internet, pausing here and there to play Viva Pinata on the xbox Anu got. The good news is that I can pretty much tell you everything about every celebrity scandal ever and I'm really good at Pinata farming. The bad news is that I have jack crap to write about when I finally do get guilty enough to feel like I really should make a post. I guess I could write about my Pinatas but there's only so much to be said about my frustration with Pretztails eating my Bunnycombs.
(For real though, they're not even that cute and the bunnies are adorable. I hate them so much. One time I spent a lot of money on a hat for my Bunny and then this ass face just flounced in and ate him while I was busy watering a tree. I know, I know, I could just keep two of them in my garden and be done with it, but they start fights like there's no tomorrow. And they're NOT THAT CUTE! Grrr...)
I'm going up to Lewisville next week for job training, so I suppose that's pretty exciting. I really wish it was time for the school year to start, I'm going to be the most ridiculously awesome high school TA ever. Those kids are going to learn so much science that they won't even know what to do with themselves. Also, my principal kind of hinted at the fact that I might be able to develop some outdoorsy programs for them. We're going kayaking, kiddos!
Anu and I have been working out (like Responsible Adults) regularly lately and we've decided that we're going to do Warrior Dash in November. I am so pumped. It looks like pretty much the most fun 5k in the world. If you're in Austin, you should totally do it with us because it's going to be insane. Like, crazy person in a mental institution insane.
(That wasn't a dig at those with mental illness, I've just been dying over these "Real Moment with Rachel Zoe" parody videos. Here, watch it:
So there you go.)
But yeah, back to Warrior Dash. Here's the website if you want to go:
http://warriordash.com/register2010_central_texas.php
I'm sorry this post is all over the place. I hope it's at least somewhat entertaining.
Also, Eric is going away to med school on a magical island and that makes us all very sad. We threw him a surprise party that was doctor themed, and I think it was a big hit. I won't post any saucy pictures for fear of med school/ bosses/ students finding them and deciding that we're all bad people, but here are some fairly innocent ones so you can get the gist of it:
(It says Dr. Hap Hapablap, Chief of Drinkytown. The name will make sense if you knew this kid in high school...or if you watch old school Simpsons episodes.Also, Anu said my handwriting looks like Comic Sans. You be the judge.)
See how we were all in scrubs? Commitment, guys, it's all about commitment.
Ummm...oh, I know. Another new development is that Flanagan got me straight up addicted to shopping for clothes and books on eBay. I can't stop. SUCH GOOD DEALS, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! I was so dubious at first and now I'm desperately trying to stop myself from draining our bank account on 40,000 bargains. Thanks a lot, kid. Now I'm never going to be able to afford a pony! :(
OK, I've worn myself out. I'm going to go read Hyperbole and a Half for a couple of hours until I have to go to the gym and do more squats and other horrible things that promise to make my body parts more attractive. Ugh.
Love and Kisses,
Dana
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